I became a mother at 20 years old. Young, scared, and responsible for a life I was still learning how to live myself. Everyone tells you that raising a child takes a village, and with that village comes opinions. Elders offer advice, lessons, and stories about how they raised their children and how they were raised in return.
And while I believe the older generation can give solid advice, I do not believe all advice is meant to be followed. Sometimes our elders are so rooted in how things were done that they refuse to acknowledge that some of those methods were not always the best or the healthiest and in many cases, they created trauma that followed us into adulthood. Not everything we survived was meant to be repeated.
Today while scrolling on Threads, I came across a compilation of videos of toddlers crying because they had to leave their grandparents and go back home with their parents. It was cute watching how tightly they clung to their grandparents. It made me think back on my own experience with this and how for me It wasn’t so cute for me.
When my son did not want to come home, it was never seen as innocent or sweet. It became a moment of judgment. I was told I was not a good mother. I was told he did not want to come home because I never had him. That could not have been further from the truth.
I was present, active and very much involved. My son simply loved being with his grandparents, and I did not fight him on it. I wanted him to be happy. Why deny a child happiness? HELLOOOO. lol
That video was a reminder to me that I was never doing anything wrong. My child just loved his grandparents like every little kid that gets spoiled by their grandparents. I wish I knew back then what I know now, because I would have never been so bothered by the comments and would have voiced myself rather than staying silent.
Moments like that make you reflect on how easily assumptions are made and how often young mothers are judged instead of supported. I say this to say that when it comes to parenting, there is no single right or wrong way. You do what you believe is best. “No one knows your child like you do,” is something my best friend always tells me. And because of that, no one else can tell you how to raise your child. As long as they are healthy, loved, and safe, that is what matters most.
Love ya, BYE!
Tee Talk 