I was in the grocery store once when an older lady made a comment about the shape of my lips. She told me I had “flute lips.” Before I could even process that, her husband chimed in and told me my lips would take me places in life. I knew exactly what he meant, but I was so shocked all I did was smile and say, “thank you.”
Thank you???
I should have been calling him all kinds of creeps and more, but instead I said thank you lol. Because WTF!
I tell this story because it perfectly sums up how people really just say whatever comes to mind and keep it moving. No self-preservation. No self-awareness. Just talking.
I thought about that moment today while scrolling through social media. The way people say whatever they want, whether it makes sense or not. Whether it’s helpful or not. So often people speak without stopping to think about how their words might land on someone else.
We all know someone like that. The person who says whatever pops into their head, reacts before thinking, and then acts completely clueless when relationships fall apart. Like they weren’t the cause of the mess they made.
I have encountered so many people in my life where I’ve found myself side eyeing them after a comment or an action. Not because I’m overly sensitive, but because they didn’t pause or think. There was no self-awareness involved. And somehow, those same people are still confused about why friendships ended or relationships didn’t last. Still clueless about how their own behavior played a role.
But truthfully, being self-aware is really simple.
It’s the ability to recognize how your actions, tone, words, and even timing affect other people. It’s understanding that just because something feels true to you does NOT mean it needs to be said right now, or said that way. That same lack of awareness we see in random moments shows up in friendships and relationships every day.
Self-awareness doesn’t mean walking on eggshells or silencing yourself. It means being intentional. It means asking yourself, Is this helpful? Is this necessary? Is this kind? And if the answer is no, learning to sit with the thought instead of immediately releasing it.
Honestly, taking a pause or a step back before speaking or acting can save a lot. It can save friendships. It can prevent broken relationships. And truly, it may just save many people from embarrassing themselves.
My best advice is to just shutup!
Love ya, BYE!
Tee Talk 