Why is it that when good things start happening, we run from them. Or worse, we find a way to sabotage them.
Why do we fear the good in our lives.
Maybe it is because we have become so used to things going wrong that our minds are almost trained to expect the worst in every situation.
Sometimes I connect good with bad. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hold my breath, waiting to be disappointed, because in my head it feels inevitable. If I wait long enough, something will go wrong. And usually, it does.
Then I am left saying, I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true.
So now I catch myself leaving before things get bad. Walking away before I get hurt. Pulling back before I get too comfortable. Not because something is actually wrong, but because I am afraid of what might go wrong.
It is strange how we can crave happiness and still run from it at the same time.
Maybe self sabotage is not about wanting things to fail. Maybe it is about trying to protect ourselves from the disappointment we are convinced is coming.
But maybe the real risk is not getting hurt.
Maybe the real risk is never letting yourself fully have the good when it finally shows up.
Maybe healing is not about learning how to avoid pain. Maybe it is about learning how to stay, even when your instinct tells you to run.
And maybe, just maybe, the next time something good comes along, we owe it to ourselves to stop bracing for impact and let it be good.
Love ya, BYE!
Tee Talk 