I like to do small things for myself as a reminder to enjoy even the smallest parts of life.
I once went to a flower shop near my home to make a bouquet for myself. Not for an occasion. Not for anyone else. Just because I wanted something beautiful in my home.
The florist helping me was giving me so much information about all the different flowers. Honestly, I was not really paying attention, but she was trying her hardest to give me valuable advice. She started talking to me about roses. About how people think they are complicated, but really they are just misunderstood. She said most people kill them by trying too hard.
Too much water. Too much attention. Too much interference.
She said when that happens, they do not grow stronger. They rot. The roots drown. The petals fall. Not because they were neglected, but because they were given too much, too soon.
I think we all have experienced root rot at some point in our lives.
Some things are like that. Not just flowers. Life. People. Connections.
Some things move too fast.
One moment everything feels light and exciting, and the next it feels heavy, crowded, and loud with expectations that were never asked for.
I move slow. On purpose. I do not rush into people. I do not rush into feelings. I take my time. I watch. I let things show themselves before I decide what they mean. Not because I am guarded, but because I am intentional.
Fast connections feel good at first. Attention feels good. Chemistry feels good. Being wanted feels good. It feels flattering. It feels exciting. It feels like being pulled into something warm and bright and loud.
But when everything happens all at once, there is no room to breathe. No room to think. No room to decide if this is actually what is wanted or just what feels good in the moment.
When someone starts talking about futures before the present is even settled, it feels like being written into a story without being asked if you want the role.
It feels like pressure dressed up as affection.
I do not want to be rushed into anything. Not feelings. Not roles. Not expectations. I do not want to be imagined, projected onto, or fast forwarded into a version of a life that has not had time to exist yet.
Some things need space. Some things need patience.
Some things die when they are overwatered.
Fast love burns fast.
I want something that lasts.
Love ya, Bye!
Tee Talk 