I remember telling someone once that I really love flowers. Not just flowers, but big dramatic bouquets of roses that are almost too big to carry. The kind you see in movies or on social media and think, I want that at least once in my life.
When I told him, he immediately started talking about how that’s like two hundred dollars and how he would rather buy me something I could have forever, like a pair of shoes, instead of something that was just going to die. That was the end of us. Because first of all, I’m not keeping a pair of shoes forever. Let’s be serious. lol
That moment was a wake up call for me.
It wasn’t really about the flowers.
It was about the mindset.
Because for me, if you love something, if you want something, if you desire something and especially if you are my person, I do not care if it lasts two days, two weeks, or two hours. If it makes you happy, I want to give it to you. Not because it makes sense to me, but because it means something to you.
Love to me is not always practical. It is thoughtful. It is intentional. It is about paying attention.
A lot of relationships are built around what a person can get rather than what they can give. Around what makes sense to them instead of what makes their partner feel seen. We say we want partnership, but a lot of times people are more consumed with themselves, their logic, their priorities, their comfort, than with learning what makes the other person feel loved.
And yes, I know. Two hundred dollars, or really it was probably more like one hundred and fifty, is a lot of money for roses. I am not pretending it isn’t. But this wasn’t something I was asking for every week or even every year. It was something I wanted to experience one time. Just once.
Because sometimes it is not about the thing.
It is about feeling heard.
It is about feeling considered.
It is about having someone who does not just think does this make sense to me, but instead asks does this make you happy.
And I realized then that I do not want a love that only shows up when it is logical. I want a love that shows up when it is meaningful.
Love ya, BYE!
Tee Talk 