Tee Talk

Lately, during my late-night scrolling, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts like “one week no contact” or “two months no contact.”

I usually applaud them with a heart or a like and keep scrolling because honestly, you go girl or boy, whoever it is at the moment.

But one night while scrolling, I came across a girl who said, “For you it’s no contact. For them, it’s just a regular day.”

When I saw that, I thought to myself, I wish I had seen that during my no contact days.

Then I heard it again on my drive home from work yesterday. My friend sent me a message with that same exact quote. “It’s just a regular day for them.”

And it really got me thinking about my past relationship.

I will never forget trying to move on from him while at the same time still wanting to be with him. I never checked his social media because we all know that is the last place you want to be when dealing with heartbreak. But one restless night, I went searching. I am not even sure what I was hoping to find.

As I scrolled down his Facebook page, my heart sank.

He was okay.
He was happy.
He was single.

While I was silently applauding myself for making it three weeks with no contact, he was out living his life. He did not give a single f*ck about me.

That was the moment I stopped looking and stopped counting.

I cried myself to sleep that night and told myself I would no longer keep count.

Because healing is not sitting around obsessing over how many days have gone by without speaking to someone. Healing is about you. It is about focusing on the things that make you happy. It is about getting back to who you were before you met them. Before the heartbreak.

I saw someone post that she had gone five months without contacting him and the comments were full of people cheering her on. And while there is nothing wrong with supporting strangers, there was one comment that made me scrunch my brows. “Good. That means you have moved on.”

But does it?

Has she really moved on?

Maybe we all have our own definition of what moving on looks like. But to me, truly moving on is when you stop keeping score. When you can’t remember the last time you talked to them. When they no longer live rent-free in your head.

Of course, we do not just forget someone we once loved deeply. But we do not count days anymore.

Because the moment you start counting, you are still giving them a place in your life.

So if you find yourself like me, counting your no contact days, ask yourself this.

Do you think they care how many days have gone by?

Or is it just another regular day for them?

Make it just another day of living for you.

Love ya, Bye!