Who even came up with the term “right person, wrong timing”?
What’s left in the past should stay in the past. If it didn’t work out before, don’t try and convince me it can work in the now.
But before you start chewing my head off, let me explain why I feel this way.
I’ve tried more times than I care to admit to give my past second and third chances. I’ve tried to see the growth in people, to believe in their change, only to realize they rarely extend that same grace to me. Too often, people cling to old versions of you, old memories, old access. Because it’s easier to hold your past over your head than it is to applaud your growth.
The Terilynn I am today is not the same Terilynn from seven years ago. Hell, I’m not even the same Terilynn from two months ago. I am still becoming. I am still growing.
Recently, I ran into a man from my past. And I’ll be honest, navigating a recent heartbreak and rekindling an old flame was not on my bingo card for the end of 2025. But there I was, hesitantly giving it a shot. Because what’s the worst that could happen?
I decided to step outside my “no past” rule. And the instant connection was insane. The constant texting. Hours-long phone calls. Laughing like I was talking to one of my girlfriends on a random Tuesday night. Everything felt perfect.
He quickly planned our first date for the following weekend. Even sent me an Apple Pay to buy more books because I expressed how much I love to read. I was smitten. Our talks became longer and he would express his excitement about this second chance to get it right and making me his wife this time around.
While some women would find talks like this exhilarating. That sh*t scared me. I started to get this nervous flutter in my stomach. The random chills.
I couldn’t help but wonder. Was this God’s doing? I had prayed for my heartbreak to end. Was this man sent to help heal me, to show me what love could really look like? Was God saying it’s okay to date your past? I needed answers.
Three days before the date, I woke up in a panic with those flutters returning. I find it easier and more calming, to write down my worries and prayers. So I grabbed my journal and started writing out a prayer, asking God for guidance and clarity. And in that quiet moment, I heard it. The faintest voice telling me to just be open and honest. Be honest about my journey. About my walk with Christ. Something I haven’t really been vocal about.
Later that evening, I reached out to him, and not to long into the call he made a comment about sex. And that was it. That was the flutter in my stomach. Except it wasn’t butterflies. It was that sick, heavy feeling you want to disappear. As we kept talking, I noticed he kept bringing up our past sex life. Why do men do that? Talk about something that happened years ago. Do women do this too? Bring up sex from over five years ago?
After several eye rolls and a lot of silent sighing, he finally paused long enough for me to open up about my celibacy journey. I told him how I had rededicated my life to Christ and that while I’m open to dating, my spiritual growth comes first. I explained that I’m choosing to wait until marriage.
Now, I thought a respectful gentleman would either be cool with that or quietly step away, right?
Not this guy. Oh no. He wanted me to compromise. With my body. In his exact words, “Well, can I at least see you naked, and can we still shower together?”
Everything I felt for him evaporated in that instant. Normally, I would have cursed him straight to the moon and back, but I calmly said: celibacy is non-negotiable. Anything that could tempt me or derail my spiritual journey? Not happening.
And his response? “I can’t see your boobs every now and then, Terilynn? Be real. This isn’t even equivalent.” He even argued that because we had past relations, my celibacy didn’t matter, and that it wasn’t fair he had to wait to “get it again.”
For f*cks sake. What is wrong with people?
And that, my friends, was all the confirmation I needed. The past should stay in the past. As much as I love to see growth in people, some will always hold you hostage to who you used to be. He refused to see the new Terilynn because she didn’t match the version of me that once allowed him access to the most sacred parts of her.
He didn’t want who I am now. He wanted who I was. And because I gave it away in the past, he seemed to think that meant he was still entitled to it.
To that I say, eat sh*t
Love ya, BYE!
Tee Talk 