Tee Talk

Anxious attachment, a term used to describe people with a deep fear of abandonment and a constant need for reassurance and validation.

Who the hell knew that would be me?

But come on, let’s be honest, this did not just happen overnight. Recently I had a very interesting meeting with a therapist who made me take a deep dive into why I cling to people. Let me just say there were more tears than talking.

Growing up, my mom did not allow us to hang out with friends outside of family and our so called fake cousins. It was not until I was 17 that I finally met someone my mom allowed me to spend time with, and that was only because she was a church friend. Ashlee Everette.

She hated me at first, and honestly the feeling was mutual. She was a b*tch. But somehow that b*tch became my Bestfriend. One day I babysat for her mom, and the next day I was spending the night at her house. I did not go back home for months.

No worries though. I was out of school and working at that point. My mom knew I was safe, and I would occasionally pop back home for clothes. I pretty much moved into Ashlee’s house, and from that moment on we were inseparable.

Everyone hated it.

It came with jealousy, lots of it. Ashlee was a likable girl and people clung to her. So seeing her cling to me made others uncomfortable. But we did not care. We were sisters.

The attachment, though, was very unhealthy.

People assumed we were lesbians and I mean who could blame them? We basically were in a weird bestfriend relationship lol. The wild things people came up with. But in reality, I had never had a friend before. And when I finally got one, I wanted to go through life with her. And we did. We have gone through life together. Fifteen years and three kids later, we have been through everything.

So what is unhealthy about that?

Well, let me tell you.

We fight like a couple. Where have you been. Why are you ignoring my calls. You never text me back.

It is actually insane.

But this is where it all started for me. My anxious attachment. Because of my friendship with Ashlee, I began bringing those same patterns into my romantic relationships and other friendships. When people go days without talking to me, I freak out. I start filling in gaps. Obsessing over what went wrong and wondering if I did something to push them away.

I cry. What did I do for you to distance yourself from me.

And the moment they text or call, it is like my entire day lights up. As if I have handed other people control over my mood.

2025 was a tough year for me. I cried a lot. I let the way people communicated with me or did not communicate with me dictate how my day would go. It was not until November that I decided it had to stop.

I am in control of my mood. I decide how my day is going to go.

So here I am in 2026 at 32 years old working through anxious attachment. I am no longer worrying about whether someone is going to leave me or sitting around waiting on a text reply. I am letting people live their lives, and I am finally doing the same.

Love Ya, Bye!